"people treat you so good, why you duwan him...."

i was asked this question countless of times, be it friends or family, and even myself. why, i often wonder. different mood gives me different answer. sometimes, i just want a new experience with somebody i like. else, i am bored with long distance relationship. but most of the time, i think it's because i entered into this relationship with the thinking that being loved is better than to love. love isnt equal i know, but in this case, it's too unequal. the love he has for me is overbearing compared to what i can give. i thought love can be cultured, but then again, love can diminish too, at a faster rate.

the time for me to give my final answer is getting nearer. once decided, i could never turn back, maybe i will never meet a guy like him anymore. logic thinking, i would regret my decision to break up ever. i would never have to worry about family, financial or love security if i go back to him. it is like all nicely arranged. but then again, i wanted to experience something new, something that i want. as i grow old, i would come to regret my decision, or maybe i will be thankful, i cant know for sure. in any way, i hope i can make the best out of the situation.

i am one hell of a stubborn girl.