i threw away my true love to pursuit a short meaningless fun. some days i thought about it, some days i don't. often, i try not to regret my decision. but when i'm not most aware, the sharp pang of longing struck my heart. why did i kick him out of my heart? he was unaware of my turmoil. it's so unfair to him. i didnt even give him a chance to repair the gap between us. i had walked too far from the boundaries that separate us. i fell into the charms of another man easily. once i wandered off, it's hard to turn back. i decided to let go of the past. looking back, sometimes, i want to go back. but it's not possible. i hurted him too much. i hurt everyone in the process. i put my selfish want ahead of everything else. i want to enjoy the short fun, it's too hard to stop now. but sometimes, i wish i didnt do it, i wish i didnt stray at the first place. day by day gone without you by me, the hole that i had not noticed before gets bigger and bigger. i dont know how you felt, it must had felt thousand times worse. but you'll cope, i know, somehow you will. i wish that if fate puts us together again, you can accept me. but the words you utter to me last, that we will never be together again, brings me back crushing to reality. if only i stay strong enough at the first place.