window post

its a rainy day once again. i'm snuggled in my room, warm and snugged. looking out from my window, an orange streak ran across the sky. sometimes i would just wish if i can see a superman flying pass by. that would certainly light up my day. looking back, i wondered who am i.

i was the girl sitting at the front row in class photos
i was the girl placed at the front in school events
i was the girl at the front places in school exams
i was someone back then

who cares if i was at the front of everything
i lost my old identity
i am nobody now
just another girl in the society

how does that fact add to my misery
i don't know
sometimes i miss those old moments
where i feel like i got everything
under my control

oh superman
please fly by

the walk

he put out his hand, and she took it into hers.

gently, he escorted her to the secret garden
down into the less trodden path
where the leaves and flowers paves the ground
where the radiant of the sun paints the evening
marking its shine on the twinkling water in the lake

it was by yet the most beautiful garden she had seen

she smiled at him, happy to be in his arms
taking in everything she saw into her breath
it was the walk of eternity, where everything held still
just like a walk down the aisle of marriage

the sight of the white moroccan palace greeted her first
with its delicate intrinsic design, water fountain in the middle,
it was just simply stunning enough for her

his leg got caught in the water hole first
he fell down, pulling her together, splashing water
his leg got wet and her shoes got wet
she was too amused to be angry

there was a bridge
among the tall giant trees
it brought them above the trees
where they could look below
and pretend to be squirrels

deeper into the garden, they reached a fleet of stairs
wide stone stairs with little seashells lined at each of the steps
she stepped cautiously into each of the steps,
careful not to step onto those tiny white seashells

she imagined herself a beautiful forest guardian
with white flowing dress and a flower head wreath
walking as if floating gracefully
where the wind blows gently, tugging a little at the dress
with colorful butterflies flying around her

and then she saw it

the obelisk

straight ahead 

the deepest secret in the garden
where it holds the oldest magic
when the sun is in its strongest
the door to the other world might open

they got there in no time
though it was a hard climb
the white path laid there inviting
which led to the obelisk itself

she whispered some magic words
but nothing happened
she tried again
yet again it was blank

disappointed, she peered behind the tower
to see what was beyond there
carefully they made a higher climb
stepping onto the rocky edges
putting their lives at risk
just to fulfil her curiousity

what was behind
caught her breath
it was the magic itself

cat in cage

gently he closed the cage
whilst looking at the cat,
hoping it would understand
he's gonna leave it here
in this sad lonely cage

it didn't even try to meow
it didn't even try to scratch
it knew this is gonna to happen someday
when its owner got tired of it

he held his heart for a moment
a wave of guilt swept pass him
but he knew this had to happen
before it got too late

as he walked away
the cat looked on
the tears wont come
but its heart continue to break

as he walked on
he stole a glance on the mirror
it broke his heart
to see how forlorn its cat was

it understood perfectly well
many had hated it
for taking away its owner
from many of his beloved

i couldn't afford to fail again
he thought,
it wasn't its fault
but keeping the cat there
was all he could think of

the cat put a paw on the door
hesitating for a moment
though it knows the way to its owner
he wouldn't like it
the cat put its paw away

money gone, friends gone
he doesn't what that to happen
but that's the stark truth
they come in one package
cat, time, money, energy
he's just tired

it rested its head on its paw
unknowingly, it had became the culprit
the root of everything that is wrong
i'll stay strong, i can survive it here
the cat thinking to itself
through the bars




he let down his friends
friends that were the closest to him
he failed before
something he had never done before
he tried to block all this thoughts
it wasn't the cat's fault
he tried to tell himself
it wasn't anyone's fault

the cat closed its eyes
it won't be weak
it won't be weak

i can stay strong
without seeing him that often
it won't hurt him anymore


hiding its head in its paw
the tears finally came

he pointed to the shining tiny little figurines on display.
immediately i went.... "SO CUTE!!!~~"
he asked me, " You want?"
i shook my head
but my gaze is still on those pinky purplish figurines
we walked a few steps
and my thoughts were still on those cute things
"Ok fine, if it's less than RM10, i'll buy it," i exclaimed
so we went back to the roofless stall under the tree

he gave the man the money and i got the rabbit
transaction done, leaving me super happy and satisfied
i felt like a pampered kid asking for a toy
with her wish granted
that simple feeling left me happy as a child

we were there for the hot air balloon display
but alas we reached there not at the right time
we see people "one two one two" heaving the basket
but into the lorry, not the other way round
aiks, well, at least i saw the basket with glorious fire above it

since we reached there, we hang around surveying the area
basically they sell nearly the same items, based on night lights
they're colorful and pretty, ignoring the muddy area and some stinky smell
and also ignoring the constant nagging that my exam is just tomorrow!
haha, screw you account exam!

before going back, we bought 20 of that cute figurines
i got an idea to sell those cute things, but wasn't very sure of it
he's the one who confirmed (so he said), or assured me to do that
and the next day, i sold it all off, with profit of 50%
haha, i dont do much persuading to my customers even
they're just too cute to resist!
should have bought more >.<

as for the exam itself, we had exam in the darkness
yea, screw you MMU.
it's me who had my exam in the darkness
everyone else got their handphone brought out, i left mine in my room
and so poor me have to squint her eyes out just to make out the question
and to make sure i got the numbers right
and yes, the whole place was in total darkness
i was "lucky" perhaps that the person next to me had a bright handphone light
after trying so hard to answer my papers, there is a possibility we have to retake
oh well, i'm sure there are lots out there who cheated
the chance's just too good!
i would too, if i HAD a handphone with me that time
screw you, TNB! or whoever who manages the electricity here

these days i feel like i'm not going on so well with him. it's always about my late night going out with my friends. he feels its wrong for me to come back late at night but i think it's okay once in a while, like i came back before two. on one hand, i like going out with my friends at night to chill off the tension that accumulated during the day, but on the other hand, he doesnt like it at all. to say i would never go out at night again would be lying. but then again, to say i would go out at night again would hurt his feeling. his or my feelings first?

death

since my cousin passed away two days ago, i find myself thinking alot of her.
funny how often she popped out in my mind only after she died
regretted the chance not to know her well before this
such a cheerful person, always be the first to attempt a conversation with me
she first asked me out this year, for new year shopping in ipoh
i never knew that would be the first and the last time she asked me out
i wish i could talk to her more,, really i wish i could

its a pity she couldnt achieve her dream.. yet
just newly enrolled in teacher trainee college, i could see she's happy there
i wonder how it feel, to be robbed out of your life
when there is still a dream inside you
and to die in such an abrupt way
will her soul comprehend this?

her parents must be crushed, she was their pride and joy
i could still remember, the day she achieved excellant results in SPM
her father was so happy that he couldn't eat
what would he do now that his beloved daughter is gone?

reality is harsh, unpredictable, unfair
now that i got my nose stuck after letting myself into emotion
i don't feel like doing anything else.
staying up the whole night wasn't my forte
but doing it once in awhile makes me feel good,
the only time where my emotion really resurfaces

ice cream day

smiling from inside
she tasted the first sweet cold ice cream

its called love potion
sweet berry taste with chocolate chips

tingling with delight,
she took another mouthful

this time, it tasted bitter
that strong chocolate sugar free taste

happy beyond wonders,
she looked into the face she loved
searching for a smile

and she smiled back,
she took a bit from his

a sweeter chocolate, with more milk
just like him, milky sweet

sighing with content
she basked herself into the
sweet contour of ice cream