these days i feel like i'm not going on so well with him. it's always about my late night going out with my friends. he feels its wrong for me to come back late at night but i think it's okay once in a while, like i came back before two. on one hand, i like going out with my friends at night to chill off the tension that accumulated during the day, but on the other hand, he doesnt like it at all. to say i would never go out at night again would be lying. but then again, to say i would go out at night again would hurt his feeling. his or my feelings first?

death

since my cousin passed away two days ago, i find myself thinking alot of her.
funny how often she popped out in my mind only after she died
regretted the chance not to know her well before this
such a cheerful person, always be the first to attempt a conversation with me
she first asked me out this year, for new year shopping in ipoh
i never knew that would be the first and the last time she asked me out
i wish i could talk to her more,, really i wish i could

its a pity she couldnt achieve her dream.. yet
just newly enrolled in teacher trainee college, i could see she's happy there
i wonder how it feel, to be robbed out of your life
when there is still a dream inside you
and to die in such an abrupt way
will her soul comprehend this?

her parents must be crushed, she was their pride and joy
i could still remember, the day she achieved excellant results in SPM
her father was so happy that he couldn't eat
what would he do now that his beloved daughter is gone?

reality is harsh, unpredictable, unfair
now that i got my nose stuck after letting myself into emotion
i don't feel like doing anything else.
staying up the whole night wasn't my forte
but doing it once in awhile makes me feel good,
the only time where my emotion really resurfaces

ice cream day

smiling from inside
she tasted the first sweet cold ice cream

its called love potion
sweet berry taste with chocolate chips

tingling with delight,
she took another mouthful

this time, it tasted bitter
that strong chocolate sugar free taste

happy beyond wonders,
she looked into the face she loved
searching for a smile

and she smiled back,
she took a bit from his

a sweeter chocolate, with more milk
just like him, milky sweet

sighing with content
she basked herself into the
sweet contour of ice cream

i miss you

it was just the night before that

you told me; you love me

and yet because of something i did
that displeases you
made you ignore me

it has been a whole day now

i hate to be ignored
it makes me feel left out
makes me feel i'm not loved
anymore

i'm sad
full with sorrow
engulfed by darkness
dreadfully lonely

wont you come to me?

couldnt sleep tonight
maybe should try talking
to the moon

he wasn't here
he wants to be alone
kinda worried
it's that a sign?

he always tell me
that he likes solitude
which makes me wonder
what makes my presence?

there're some things
that you don't tell me
sometimes i felt
useless and ignored


maybe i wasn't mature enough
maybe i wasn't understanding
but i would like to hear you out
even though i couldn't offer advices

talk to me would you?

imma is being burned alive in her room
the sun is merciless
the heat is everywhere
poor imma

imma wan die
new sem new workload