it's nearly one year. i guess all have to settle down some time or another. there's no turning back from now on. it's kind of mixed feelings. funny that when you're wanted, you don't feel like you want the person and when the opposite happens, it's vice versa. stupid brain right? chose this road, got to stay on the road. it's not all that bad. sometimes it hurts there and here but we'll all survive. life goes on. got to admit, you gives the best love, care and attention one could ask for. for me, at least, so far. sometimes i wish a truck would hit me and i would get amnesia and live for the time being. meaning, selective amnesia, i would like to keep all my intellectual stuff and forgot other troubled memories.

i realised this blog is like nearly all about you, with exceptions to the earlier entries. a space for me to pour out emotional stuff. maybe when one day i finally forget everything, these entries will stop. you gave me too much to yearn for. i yearn for close relationship which you cant provide so that's where we are right now. it's for the best, i always feel you deserve better than just an attention seeking girl.