major disappointment

what does a sad cat do?
it hides in a corner and refuses to eat
yea, that's me right now

somehow i feel like i'm failing
i didn't spend much time on studying nowadays
there's always something to do, to finish
everything's like piling up and never ending

the effect?
i can't do my business stat quiz this morning
the feeling of not being able to do something
that you know you should know how to do
is horrible and eating me inside out
how can i not know what to do with figures?
that had been my forte since young!

out of 3 questions, i can only manage one
only one! i practically failed already

cat feels so sad and disappointed
where does it find its comfort?
under the blanket

in the midst of assignment

maybe because i'm born in the year of goat
that i'm fated to be the goat sacrifice

for all the assignments
i sacrificed my attendance to classes
i sacrificed my time to read through
i sacrificed my effort to go to library, lecturers
i sacrificed my play time
i sacrificed my study time
i sacrificed all that i have
just to finish them

it may be my strongest weakness
that i'm not good at coordinating my members
that i do not give clear instructions
that i can't accept my their shoddy work attempt
that i must edit the whole thing over again
that i must put all my efforts into getting it perfect
just to finish them

why group assignments exist?

to give an easy way to those who does nothing?
to torture those who put effort in it?
i dont see the point of group assignment
if it always end up in my hands.

next time, i'm gonna go solo.

in search of the golden sun

it was a random decision
to take a walk around my whole campus
this evening

it was a nice day
one of my favourite phrases
and i appreciate nice days

like a wandering cat
i went around walking
on grasses, on terrains, on roads

i could feel a slight wind
and it felt like walking
in cold places
like cameron highland

my university actually had beautiful trees
one day i'm gonna take some pictures
with the trees

everytime i i think it's a nice day
i always wanted to go with my beloved
to the hidden parks of putrajaya
i kept thinking it will be such a waste
not to go on nice cool days

someday i'm gonna sit by the lake
on a windy day when the sun hides behind the clouds
i want him to tie my hair into plaits
i'll teach him how someday
note to myself

i want to touch d obelisk again
this time i will bring a charm bracelet
who knows there might be some wonders

charm bracelet

i looked around everywhere for him
yet still no sight
i was so tempted to ask the girl beside me
what time is it now
but keeping track of time
would make the wait longer

i continue waiting
there's a public phone in front of me
i felt like calling him
but thought otherwise
it would seem like i'm rushing him
no, i can wait

a few batches of people
come and go from the train
i sat there wondering
should i go over to him

sitting there
i told myself
to smile
when i see him
and keep a pleasant face
to welcome him
when he arrives

and when he arrived
the smile was surprisingly genuine
my heart leapt with joy
and tingled with delight
upon seeing him
all the hours of waiting
just melted into the air

and we went onto a journey
in search of a charm bracelet
just for his pretty little princess

and the charm bracelet
now sits perfectly on my wrist
can't help looking at it
every now and then

it was really hard to choose
being me who loves any bracelets
each of then had their own prettiness
but when i saw the tiny little loves in the purple one
the choice was immediately made
that bracelet would symbolise the loves
that hang in every chain of our lives

today i walked back from the class
with the bright bright sun above me
which makes a shadow out of me
walking along beside me

from the shadow on the ground
i see my hair flowing behind me
its been quite long since last time
oh how i adore my hair
its straight and thick naturally
but just at times
i cant help wondering
what it will be like
to have curls on my head

i thought about him
oh how i love him
he thinks i'm pretty
maybe the prettiest girl
haha, so much of confidence here

i love pretty little things
they make me feel pretty
even for just a second
pretty little things in life
ah, my obsession

he doesnt share my obsession
he doesnt see my view of prettiness
he doesnt find them practical
but still he's willing to make it happen

the pretty little things i love

including him <3

cat

my cat would be the king of house
if it wants to eat, food must be there
if it wants the bed, space must be given
if it wants to be cuddled, it must be cuddled
if it feels hot, air cond must be on
if it feels cold, fan must be off
if it feels grumpy, it must be comforted
if it wants me, it will have me
 
my cat is superior :)

window post

its a rainy day once again. i'm snuggled in my room, warm and snugged. looking out from my window, an orange streak ran across the sky. sometimes i would just wish if i can see a superman flying pass by. that would certainly light up my day. looking back, i wondered who am i.

i was the girl sitting at the front row in class photos
i was the girl placed at the front in school events
i was the girl at the front places in school exams
i was someone back then

who cares if i was at the front of everything
i lost my old identity
i am nobody now
just another girl in the society

how does that fact add to my misery
i don't know
sometimes i miss those old moments
where i feel like i got everything
under my control

oh superman
please fly by

the walk

he put out his hand, and she took it into hers.

gently, he escorted her to the secret garden
down into the less trodden path
where the leaves and flowers paves the ground
where the radiant of the sun paints the evening
marking its shine on the twinkling water in the lake

it was by yet the most beautiful garden she had seen

she smiled at him, happy to be in his arms
taking in everything she saw into her breath
it was the walk of eternity, where everything held still
just like a walk down the aisle of marriage

the sight of the white moroccan palace greeted her first
with its delicate intrinsic design, water fountain in the middle,
it was just simply stunning enough for her

his leg got caught in the water hole first
he fell down, pulling her together, splashing water
his leg got wet and her shoes got wet
she was too amused to be angry

there was a bridge
among the tall giant trees
it brought them above the trees
where they could look below
and pretend to be squirrels

deeper into the garden, they reached a fleet of stairs
wide stone stairs with little seashells lined at each of the steps
she stepped cautiously into each of the steps,
careful not to step onto those tiny white seashells

she imagined herself a beautiful forest guardian
with white flowing dress and a flower head wreath
walking as if floating gracefully
where the wind blows gently, tugging a little at the dress
with colorful butterflies flying around her

and then she saw it

the obelisk

straight ahead 

the deepest secret in the garden
where it holds the oldest magic
when the sun is in its strongest
the door to the other world might open

they got there in no time
though it was a hard climb
the white path laid there inviting
which led to the obelisk itself

she whispered some magic words
but nothing happened
she tried again
yet again it was blank

disappointed, she peered behind the tower
to see what was beyond there
carefully they made a higher climb
stepping onto the rocky edges
putting their lives at risk
just to fulfil her curiousity

what was behind
caught her breath
it was the magic itself

cat in cage

gently he closed the cage
whilst looking at the cat,
hoping it would understand
he's gonna leave it here
in this sad lonely cage

it didn't even try to meow
it didn't even try to scratch
it knew this is gonna to happen someday
when its owner got tired of it

he held his heart for a moment
a wave of guilt swept pass him
but he knew this had to happen
before it got too late

as he walked away
the cat looked on
the tears wont come
but its heart continue to break

as he walked on
he stole a glance on the mirror
it broke his heart
to see how forlorn its cat was

it understood perfectly well
many had hated it
for taking away its owner
from many of his beloved

i couldn't afford to fail again
he thought,
it wasn't its fault
but keeping the cat there
was all he could think of

the cat put a paw on the door
hesitating for a moment
though it knows the way to its owner
he wouldn't like it
the cat put its paw away

money gone, friends gone
he doesn't what that to happen
but that's the stark truth
they come in one package
cat, time, money, energy
he's just tired

it rested its head on its paw
unknowingly, it had became the culprit
the root of everything that is wrong
i'll stay strong, i can survive it here
the cat thinking to itself
through the bars




he let down his friends
friends that were the closest to him
he failed before
something he had never done before
he tried to block all this thoughts
it wasn't the cat's fault
he tried to tell himself
it wasn't anyone's fault

the cat closed its eyes
it won't be weak
it won't be weak

i can stay strong
without seeing him that often
it won't hurt him anymore


hiding its head in its paw
the tears finally came